<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>suburbia by mmaaggiiee</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24142462">suburbia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmaaggiiee/pseuds/mmaaggiiee'>mmaaggiiee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:21:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24142462</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmaaggiiee/pseuds/mmaaggiiee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>dan wants a new start, and he wants to heal.<br/>he meets a boy named phil who helps him do so.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Howell &amp; Phil Lester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi this is the first thing i've ever written and published so pls be nice also i am VERY American so im sorry if things are WEIRD. thank u for reading &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sound of heavy rain beating down on the roof of the car woke Dan with a start. It was disorienting at first, the darkness of the vehicle, before his eyes and ears adjusted to the soft light of the car’s radio and his father’s voice, humming along to a song. Outside, he couldn’t make out the details of anything nearby and their car looked like it was descending into nothingness. The rain and the dark and the troubling feeling of going nowhere was a nice allegory for Dan’s life at the moment.<br/>
Dan’s bones felt stiff, his head was pounding, but most of all he was sad. Sadder than he’d ever been. The tears began streaming down his face, and normally he’d be embarrassed by it, but this time he was hidden by the darkness so he just let it go. Time passed slowly and Dan tried to count the number of streetlights on the side of the road but he eventually lost count after a few hours, he didn’t want to stop doing something to keep himself busy though, because his idle mind was the worst thing and he never wanted to spend time alone with it. </p><p>“Dad,” Dan said, quietly. His father’s eyes searched the rear-view mirror to find Dan’s face as if checking for any signs of damage or duress, which there was; Dan just hid it well. His expression was soft as he looked at Dan.<br/>
“What’s up, kid?” His voice drawled out, he was clearly as tired as Dan felt.<br/>
“How close are we?” Dan asked, trying not to let his voice giveaway to the fact that he was possibly seconds away from having a full-on meltdown.<br/>
“Few more hours.”<br/>
Dan slumped down in his seat further. The jacket he had scrunched up into a makeshift pillow was now sitting on his lap, damp. He couldn’t use it to sleep anymore unless he wanted to feel icky, so he just came to peace with the fact that he wasn’t sleeping more tonight. </p><p>Slowly, the sky became lighter and lighter, and the rain stopped, and Dan’s mood lifted with it. His Mum must’ve awoken, Dan watched his Dad take her hand and kiss it softly. Something inside of him ached once more. Dan’s childhood was a good one, his parents were so deeply in love, and he was so deeply loved in return. His little brother, too.<br/>
Things got worse from there on out, though. </p><p>School started, and he found out that he was not very good at accountability before he even knew what that was. Dan often had to go home with notes from his teachers complaining about his disobedience. His parents did what they could, but they both worked full-time jobs and had a newborn baby to deal with, and Dan just kind of went on the backburner.<br/>
His Grandfather died two days after his 8th birthday.<br/>
His Grandmother moved in soon after. </p><p>A lot of the way Dan was was because of his Grandmother. She was an angry woman, he wasn’t sure if that was before or after her husband’s death, but it was the first thing he’d noticed about her… it terrified him.<br/>
As he grew up, though, he realized she wasn’t angry, she was just sad. And she wasn’t mad, she just didn’t know how to be serious. She said everything with the type of sarcasm that you had a hard time determining where it ended and where it began. A lot of jokes were aimed at herself, never others.<br/>
Dan continued to grow up, and he started to love her more and more as he did so. </p><p>He saw the tenderness that was buried deep inside her. She treated everyone and everything with as much care and compassion as possible, as much as she tried to hide it. She loved Dan, and he could feel it in everything she did.<br/>
His Grandmother was the thing that made Dan want to be as good as possible. </p><p>So, he worked hard in school. He got a job at only 10, babysitting local kids. He spent every night with her, playing board games or reading silently (except he read comic books and she read historical romance novels). She was his favourite person in the entire world. </p><p>And then, she got sick. </p><p>Dan was 12 and he got home one day to find the house empty. A piece of paper stuck on the fridge with a magnet read, simply,<br/>
“Be back soon.<br/>
-Grandma”<br/>
He didn’t worry, he just went to his room and took a nap, something he wasn’t allowed to do without being scolded for ‘ruining his sleep schedule’. Dan knew that if something was wrong, she would’ve told him. Except, he found out he was wrong about that.  </p><p>Dan was startled awake by a knock on his bedroom door. His Mum entered, she looked tousled and tired. The clock on his desk read 1 AM.<br/>
She spoke, and it didn’t register. Actually, Dan just didn’t believe the words. </p><p>His Grandmother had checked herself into the hospital after he’d left that morning. His parents were called soon after, and Adrian was left next door with family friends. She had had a heart attack. </p><p>The following year was a blur of pain and Dan was glad he didn’t remember it, it would hurt too much.<br/>
She died, and Dan was by her side when she did so. The last thing he remembered doing was kissing her hand.<br/>
Her death made his parents reevaluate life.<br/>
They decided they needed to be together more, to spend more time as a family. </p><p>Living in an expensive city, and working so much got in the way of that. </p><p>The day after her funeral, they packed up their car with all they could, and they drove to a home his parents had found on a whim. </p><p>So, now Dan was here. In the backseat of a car holding all of his possessions, going to a town he’s never been to, with his heart broken into a million little pieces, hoping that things will get better again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The house was beautiful, Dan couldn’t deny that even in his somber state. It was the perfect picture of a family home. </p><p>It was roughly 9 AM when they finished unloading the car, and they were all so starving they just wanted something cheap and filling.<br/>
One of the selling points of the new house was that it was close to everything in the town, they could walk and be exactly where they needed to be. </p><p>They ended up in a local family-owned restaurant, and Dan felt like he was being put under a microscope. Everyone looked at them as they walked in and sat down, even though they were a pretty plain looking family. This was something that came with moving somewhere where everybody knew each other. Newcomers were few and far between for these people, that became obvious.<br/>
The waiter was a boy who couldn’t be much older than Dan, he had curly hair similar to Dan's, and he was smiley and really fucking nice. Dan couldn’t remember the last time he’d met a teenager so kind.</p><p>The food was good enough, and everyone seemed to be in as good of spirits as possible, given the circumstances. Dan wanted to be upset about all of the attention being put their way by the locals, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just wanted to go to his new home and he wanted to get this day over with.<br/>
They spent the rest of the day dividing the contents of their possessions into the rooms they belonged in, and then makings individual lists for what they needed to buy. </p><p>Adrian was over the moon about the fact that he didn’t have to share a room with Dan anymore. “Didja hate me that much?” Dan said, jutting out his lip and speaking in the most pitiful voice possible. Adrian, more similar to Dan than he would ever admit, repeated what Dan said in a mocking tone.<br/>
“You smell,” Adrian replied, simply. He continued with his list and Dan looked to his parents to report Adrian’s rude behaviour, but he could tell that neither of them was up to deal with Dan’s jokes. His Mum had the same expression she’d had since his Grandma had fallen ill, it was like there was a war inside of her heart. </p><p>Sometimes Dan forgot that his Mum had just lost her Mum, and he wasn’t the only one mourning. </p><p>The next day, they embarked on the largest shopping trip known to man. Dan really loved this, shopping was one of the things that calmed his brain. He got a mattress, a bed frame, a desk, a mirror, and a small table big enough for the TV he brought.<br/>
On the drive home, he felt really excited. If anything could keep him from being sad, it would most definitely be spending a lot of (his parents’) money for the sake of rebuilding his life.<br/>
The rest of the day was spent in his bedroom, freshly painted a light blue color by the people they’d bought the house from, putting everything together and playing a large game of Tetris putting the items where he wanted them.<br/>
The TV was the highlight of his life at the moment. He had earned it from his parents as a reward for sharing his room for 7 years of his life, and it was beautiful. It was a newer model, and he was the first kid he’d ever known to have his own TV. Not that he knew very many other kids on such a level that he’d been to their houses, in their rooms, but it was exciting nonetheless.<br/>
He didn’t own any DVDs yet, but he suspected he could easily procure some from the secondhand shops he’d seen around town. </p><p>His posters and various other items had found their new homes on the walls and on top of any free space. As he stepped back and surveyed his space, Dan grinned. A true, full-faced grin.<br/>
Dan went to bed that night without a preoccupied mind, and it was the first time in weeks that he hadn’t cried for a whole day. </p><p>Dan went downstairs the next afternoon after an encounter with Adrian in the bathroom that made him want to strangle the younger boy, and his parents were standing in the kitchen, chattering excitedly.<br/>
“What’s up with you people this morning?” Dan said, brow furrowed, but in a joking way that made his Mum smile.<br/>
“We’re hosting a dinner party!” His Mum said, she threw up jazz hands and Dan felt a groan erupt from his stomach.<br/>
“What.” He said, not a question. “We’ve been here for 2 days.” He stated. Although, he understood this as it was extremely on-brand for his parents to make friends within hours of arriving in a new location. His parents were the polar opposite of Dan, welcoming and friendly and generally the kind of people you want to be around. Dan had never even had one real friend, but he guessed his parents, ever so charming, had hundreds.<br/>
“We met some lovely neighbors this morning!” Dan rolled his eyes. Everyone was lovely to them. “They’re meeting us here for dinner tonight. Some kids your age will be coming along!”<br/>
This instilled fear in Dan.<br/>
The thing was, he got along fine with other teenagers, he just didn’t like them very much. They all were very angsty and sometimes mean and a lot of them just wanted to talk about sex and lots of other things Dan didn’t care for. He just wanted to talk about, like, Pokemon or something. </p><p>Right as Dan almost stated the obvious, they had no fucking dinner table to host a dinner party on, the doorbell rang, and, surprise, it was a table.<br/>
His Dad looked at Dan, whos mouth was pursed, and he smiled. “She’s doing good.” He said. Dan nodded in agreement. Mum planning dinner parties and buying expensive things and living to force Dan to socialize was reminiscent of a time before the mess started to happen.<br/>
They spent a moment watching her together when Dan’s Dad squeezed his shoulder. “You’re gonna feel better soon, too.” He said, and he walked away and next to his wife to survey the new addition to the house and to pay the delivery men.</p><p>Despite whatever negativity his brain and his heart had been feeding him, Dan believed his father.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At 3, Dan showered and started getting ready. He looked at his wet hair in the mirror, curly and untameable, and decided to leave it be. The straightener he had brought out was placed back inside the cupboard, and he left for his room. <br/>He probably didn’t need to be too formal, so all he wore was a white shirt and jeans. It was probably too soon to flaunt his assortment of graphic tees to the fine residents of their middle-class neighborhood. His dried hair didn’t look too terrible. <br/>Maybe curly hair would be his new ‘thing’.</p><p>“Daniel baby you look precious!” His Mum squealed, she was all things bright and happy and welcoming at the moment. She had red lipstick on and a dress that most Mums wouldn’t wear, and Dan sheepishly told her he thought she looked nice. She smiled at him fondly and ruffled his hair, probably admiring his curls. <br/>Adrian flopped down the stairs next. “Dweeb,” Dan said and poked him on the side. Adrian punched him lightly and just like that, their Mum was back to being a Mum once more. <br/>“You’re going to make your brother need therapy when he’s grown.” She chided at them. </p><p>People started flooding into the house soon enough, and about 3 separate groups seemed to have been invited; the Pikes, the Lesters, and a young, unmarried couple named Jack and Gwen. <br/>The two families brought 3 total kids, 2 boys and 1 girl. Dan had a hard time getting and remembering all of the names, but he knew the two boys were Lesters and the girl was a Pike. <br/>It was a lot for Dan to handle, but he did so as graciously as possible. </p><p>The seating arrangement was wonky, but Dan ended up next to the younger Lester and his brother. The boy turned to him and joyously reminded Dan of his name. “Phil.” He said, and he offered his hand once again. <br/>Were all kids in this town this nice? Dan thought it was a nice change, but infuriating at that. <br/>“Dan.” He replied, and he took his hand and shook it. </p><p>Before they were even finished with the first part of their meal, Dan had discovered that he and Phil got along well. Really well. </p><p>Phil was also the type of boy that was into all things nerdy and fun, and he made himself feel like he had known Dan for years in the short span of maybe an hour or two. The boys spent a very little amount of time talking to anyone but each other. </p><p>Right when Dan’s parents starting serving cocktails and general post-dinner amenities and tours of the house were being given, Dan offered to show the kids around himself. He was in a good mood. <br/>The older Lester, Martyn, was equally as cool as Phil, just a few years older And the girl, Kayla, was sweet. She went to the same school and was in the same year as Dan and Phil. She was next to them as they went up the stairs in a group, and Dan snuck a few glances at her. She had a nice face. Like, a really nice face. </p><p>Dan opened his bedroom door and the kids piled in. Phil gawked at the TV, Martyn looked at Dan’s posters and Kayla stood next to Dan continuing to ask Dan questions about himself. He politely excused himself and walked over to Phil. <br/>“Isn’t it the coolest thing ever,” Dan said, he knew he sounded like a dickhead, but he didn’t care because he knew Phil probably agreed. <br/>“Dan, I’m moving in with you. Active immediately.” Phil said, in a very serious manner, still with his eyes glued on the screen. “Although, you have nothing to watch so maybe I’ll wait.” <br/>“Give me a break! I literally just moved here.”<br/>“All I’m saying is if you want to be my friend then you’re going to have to persuade me with your fancy TV and some movies I wasn’t allowed to see in the cinema.” <br/>“I’m pretty sure we’re already friends.” Dan challenged, bumping Phil’s shoulder with his own. <br/>“Nope. You haven’t won me over yet!” <br/>Just like that, Phil rushed off to his brother, leaving Dan with a goofy smile on his face.</p><p>“It’s nice here,” Kayla said, and Dan tore his eyes off of the absolute sunshine of a boy that was in his room. Dan looked at Kayla, and she kept looking at him. He admitted to himself at that moment that she was a very cute girl, and she was standing close to him, and he liked it.    <br/>“You can come over anytime.” Dan cringed at himself, but he was pleased when Kayla smiled at this and then also walked over to the other boys. <br/>He continued the tour. </p><p>After everyone left, the exhausted Howell family placed themselves on the floor in the eventual living room and chattered. Dan’s Dad smiled at him knowingly. “That Kayla, she’s a nice girl.” He said. <br/>Dan groaned. “You’ve ruined the moment, father.”<br/>“She’s your age and a pretty girl! It’s hard to believe you’re not interested. You’re 14, after all.”<br/>Dan groaned again and stood up. “Goodnight everyone!” He looked at his Mum and hugged her, “Tonight was nice.” </p><p>He went up the stairs and he was smiling the whole way up, and as he got ready for bed. Dan watched the blades on the fan whirring as he laid there, and he swore he felt a piece of his heart reattach to itself. <br/>2 days without tears. </p><p>A few days later, Dan’s happiness and optimism had worn off as he was starting school that day. <br/>The uniform was annoying, Dan hated ties and also everything about conformity, but he wasn’t rebellious enough to actually do anything about it. He looked at himself in his mirror. </p><p>I look like a fucking idiot, he thought to himself. </p><p>He had straightened his hair this morning, more as a safety net than anything. He was deeply anxious. <br/>He felt that pang in his heart again, and he had to sit down on his bed for a moment. <br/>He thought about his Grandma, how she would make him lunch every day, and check him at the front door every morning before he went off. </p><p>The good news was this, his Dad was home full time now. <br/>As Dan made it to the kitchen, he had to stop the tears from forming in his eyes when he saw the lunch bag his Dad was filling. <br/>Dan walked up next to his Dad and hugged him, hard. A few tears fell but it was more of a bittersweet moment. It wasn’t all pain Dan was feeling, there was love there too. A lot of it. </p><p>Dan was amazed at the speed Phil found him once he arrived at school. <br/>“Are you stalking me?” <br/>“You wish.” <br/>“No, I actually don’t, you’re weird.”<br/>“So are you.” <br/>Dan didn’t contest this. <br/>The boys had a decent amount of classes together, and any doubts Dan had about school were calmed pretty quickly. The atmosphere there was so much nicer than his old school. Dan received a lot of curious looks, but none of them had any malice or ill intent. A lot of people introduced themselves to him, even. </p><p>Phil knew everyone there, just as Dan had assumed, and during lunch, Phil took Dan to where he usually ate. It was a large group of boys, from all different years, and they were all polite. Dan genuinely couldn’t believe it. <br/>“I think I served you at the old diner!” One guy said, and Dan nodded. It was the curly-haired and smiley boy, Dad didn’t think he would remember and decided not to bring it up. “I’m PJ.” Dan and PJ bumped fists.<br/>“PJ’s family owns that place.” Phil said, “We go there after class a lot.”<br/>“We should go today!” Someone offered.<br/>Everyone agreed. Phil looked at Dan, “Can you go?” <br/>Dan’s eyes widened a little, but he quickly stopped it. He didn’t think he was already on the level to do things like that with these guys, but he guessed wrong.<br/>“Totally.” <br/>“Nice,” Phil said. He bumped his shoulder against Dan. Phil had done that a few times now, and Dan liked it. He was already closer to Phil than anyone else he’d ever known. Which was kinda pathetic, he knew that, but it made him feel warm inside knowing that. </p><p>Dan had to go home to tell his parents and maybe beg for money before he went to the diner, so he parted ways with the boys as he went home. Kayla found him about halfway there, she separated from her own group to catch up with Dan. “How was it?” <br/>She smelled like vanilla, and Dan didn’t like it very much. “It was great. Everyone is really nice here? I’m becoming suspicious.”<br/>Kayla giggled. “Small town, I guess.”</p><p>They walked home together, chatting absentmindedly. Dan liked her, she was probably the only girl he’d ever spent this much alone time with without feeling awkward, she was very easy going and talkative, just like Dan. <br/>He found out she was into art, she offered to show him some of her stuff sometime to repay the favor of allowing her to come to hang out whenever. <br/>Dan wondered if this was flirting, and why he hadn’t been doing this all along. </p><p>Dan’s Dad agreed enthusiastically to letting Dan go to the diner. </p><p>The guys were cool, but Dan was a little disappointed to find out they were pretty similar to other guys in the way that they were also obsessed with girls. That was all they talked about, although it was in a less rude way than Dan was used to. <br/>Dan got even more disappointed when Phil joined in occasionally. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him as much as it did, but he guessed it was probably because he wanted to be actual good friends with Phil, but he found the first thing they didn’t have in common. </p><p>Phil walked Dan home since they literally lived right next to each other. <br/>“You wanna walk to school together tomorrow?” Phil asked. Dan nodded. Beaming, Phil nudged his shoulder again. Any doubts that they could be friends left again. “Oh my god, wait!” Phil yelled suddenly, turning to Dan. <br/>“Jesus, you lunatic,” Dan yelled back, but with no heat to the words. <br/>“Shut up Dan! I just remembered that my Grandparents have a shit ton of DVDs… we can have a marathon this weekend!” Phil, at this point, was in full excitement mode, speaking extremely loudly and with a crazed look in his eyes. <br/>Dan couldn’t help but smile and laugh at the dude. “They won’t mind?” <br/>“Nope! I have the best Grandparents in the world.” <br/>Dan’s stupid brain acted up for a moment and he got sad, but only for a moment, because Phil immediately started named the titles off of the top of his head, and he was getting it horrendously incorrect. <br/>“... Pirates and the Caribbean…”<br/>“Pirates of the Caribbean, Phil.”<br/>“That’s what I said!” Phil agreed as if he made no mistake. “And then… we have Kill Bill. Dan, it’s going to blow your mind it’s such a good movie. Uma Therman is my future wife.” <br/>Dan shook his head. </p><p>At dinner that night, Dan told his parents that he and Phil had a movie night scheduled. <br/>“I haven’t seen you so excited since… a while.” Dan’s Mum said. <br/>“I’m a changed man,” Dan confirmed. Adrian kicked him under the table.<br/>“You’re still a loser.” </p><p>As he got ready for bed and did his homework, Dan’s whole body was buzzing. In the back of his mind, he kept thinking about his new plans and his new friends and his new life. </p><p>He found himself smiling more than he ever remembered, like, ever. It was nice.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Phil arrived at Dan’s door at 8 pm Friday and announced he would be staying for the whole weekend. <br/>Dan was giddy the whole day leading up to this, it was his first time having a friend sleep at his house. He was stressed about the etiquette of the night, and he didn’t really know what he was supposed to do to prepare, but he figured Phil wasn’t going to get bored easily; he was his own entertainment. Plus, they already had a plan; watch as many movies as possible. </p><p>“We need to make a lineup.” Phil was laying on Dan’s bed, and Dan was sitting on the floor staring intently at the pile that had been dumped on the ground next to him. “How many of those have you seen?” <br/>Dan stared even harder and somehow, he realized he’d seen none of them. “Uh, I don’t go to the cinema often.” It wasn’t a straight answer, but he felt like a loser just outright saying so.  <br/>Phil eyed him down, a question on his face. He breezed past it quickly though and went back to looking cheery. “Well, close your eyes and just grab then!” </p><p>Dan did just that, and when he opened them he had Love Actually in his hand. He looked at Phil, who had a grimace on his face. “Any chance you’re into romcoms?” He asked, and Dan considered it.<br/>“I’m not opposed to it?” <br/>“Alright! It’s settled then. Put her in!” Phil sat up and propped a pillow behind his back, placing another one beside him as well, presumably for Dan. “I will warn you, though,” Phil said, looking at the open door, “... there are some sex scenes in this one.”</p><p>Dan smiled at Phil’s discomfort, stood up, shut the door, and turned off all the lights in the room. “I bought these earlier,” Dan pulled a handful of sweets and crisps out from a bag and threw them onto the bed as he climbed in next to Phil, who was now beaming. <br/>“Hell yeah!” He dove in and tore open a bag and poured some candy into his mouth, he grabbed Dan’s hand and gave him everything else, it was a thoughtless and small gesture, but it made Dan smile, again. </p><p>Throughout the movie, Phil asked a lot of questions. <br/>“How many girls have you dated?”<br/>“Uh. None, I guess.” <br/>“Awww!” He replied, and Dan felt immensely embarrassed suddenly. <br/>“Why haven’t you seen any movies?”<br/>“You sure are talking a lot.” <br/>“You sure are deflecting a lot.” <br/>Dan squinted at the boy next to him and sighed, “My Grandma didn’t like going out very much and so I just… didn’t, I guess.”<br/>Phil hummed. They continued watching. </p><p>The next thing Dan picked ended up being Monsters, INC. “That one makes me cry.” <br/>Dan raised his eyebrows, “Not a very manly thing to say.”<br/>“Who cares about being manly? That’s a fake concept.” Phil sounded a little defensive.<br/>“Sorry.”<br/>“You’re fine! It’s fine.” Phil turned his body more towards Dan. “I really like being an emotional person. People make me feel bad about it a lot, though. I hear that kind of shit often.”<br/>Dan nodded. <br/>“You seem like you’re not very openly emotional.” This was a statement, but it felt like an accusation. <br/>“I guess I’m not.”<br/>Phil didn’t push any further. He turned his body back to the screen and propped his head on his hand.</p><p>By the time that movie had finished, it was pretty late. Both boys were barely upright, and they were talking nonsensically. <br/>Just as he’d said he would, Phil cried. </p><p>“You cried,” Dan said, straining to see with the TV off. <br/>“Mmhm. Told you.”<br/>“You’re very honest.” Phil moved closer so Dan didn’t speak too loud. “Like, all the time.”<br/>“There’s no point in not being honest. It causes problems.”<br/>“I think it actually prevents them.” <br/>“Really, with the philosophy? It’s 2 am.” <br/>Both boys giggled a little at this. </p><p>“We’re just very different, as much as we are similar,” Dan said after a long moment. He got no reply. <br/>Dan glanced down and Phil was dead asleep. This was a problem for a number of reasons. </p><p>Reason 1: They hadn’t discussed a sleeping arrangement. Reason 2: Phil fell asleep in such a place where he was trapping Dan against the wall, and he couldn’t move without waking him. Reason 3: Phil was at around Dan’s waist, and since they were the same height, this meant a lot of Phil was falling off of the bed, and it looked uncomfortable. <br/>Dan felt bad. But he would feel worse waking him up, so, Dan curled up as much as possible and closed his eyes. He was asleep soon after. </p><p>Dan woke with a start. It had shocked him so much to see another body when his eyes opened, and he accidentally kneed Phil in the stomach. <br/>Phil yelped and opened his eyes, he looked like he wanted to smile and laugh but was in too much pain to do so. “You could just ask me to leave, you don’t have to assault me!” Phil struggled out. <br/>Dan, as much as he felt terrible, broke out into hysterical laughter. <br/>As soon as Phil’s pain subsided enough, he slapped Dan on the head and sat up. Phil watched Dan continue laughing and soon he was smiling too. Phil stretched his legs out and placed them on top of Dan’s. “I’m trapping you until you apologize.” <br/>After a few more minutes of laughing, Dan finally calmed down and looked at Phil. “I’m sorry.” He said, and he did mean it, even if it was really funny. <br/>“Apology accepted.”<br/>Phil still didn’t move his legs, and Dan made no effort to get up. They sat there like that for a moment, and Dan thought it was nice. It wasn’t exactly the most intimate situation two people could be in, but it reflected an amount of comfort they already had with each other. Dan’s heart kind of felt warm, it was a level of pure happiness he hadn’t been in a while. </p><p>When they managed to get up from Dan’s bed, the boys decided to get ready and then go to PJ’s diner. <br/>“I can’t believe you kicked me, your only and nicest friend.” Phil sounded as pitiful as he possibly could, and even jutted out his bottom lip as he snuck a piece of food from Dan’s plate. <br/>“First of all, it was with my knee, not my foot, and second of all, you’re the one that fell asleep in the weirdest position known to man.” Dan looked around at the midday diner crowd, “and finally, stop stealing my god damn food.” Dan kicked Phil’s shin as lightly possible and Phil yelped in return. <br/>“You’re so mean, and for what! I’m the victim here.” Dan tried to go in for another kick but Phil trapped Dan’s legs between his. “Unbelievable.” Phil shook his head, but a grin was sitting nicely on his face. </p><p>Phil eventually loosened his grip, which disappointed Dan, so he kept them there. <br/>“Why’d you move here?” Phil asked, his voice went softer and he kept his eyes locked on Dan even as he looked down. Dan had alluded to the answer a few times, in passing mentioned his Grandmother is the past tense or informing Phil his had has recently resigned from his job, but he’d never given him a full answer. <br/>It was hard to articulate the reasoning, in all honesty. It was kind of an impulsive decision from his parents, and one Dan was impartial to. </p><p>“My Grandmother died about 2 months ago. Her death was hard on all of us, and it kind of changed our situation because she was the one that cared for me and Adrian during the week since my parents both work full time.” Dan was pushing little bits of food around on his plate and trying to keep from getting upset. “It kind of put things in perspective for my parents, I think. They realized they weren’t spending the time with us that they should be. So my dad quit his job, he was a dentist, and my mom took a less demanding version of her job, and they looked for a place and found this one, they said they just kind of fell in love with it.” <br/>Phil was nodding along. “You were close to her, huh?”<br/>“Yeah, she was, uh, kind of my best friend? I know how fucking lame that sounds, but I didn’t really like the kids I knew and she was the one who did everything with me. Plus, she had a really big part in raising me.” <br/>“I’m sorry.” <br/>“It’s ok, Phil. I’m fine.” Dan finally looked up again and was expecting the same face that everyone who Dan told made, a face of sympathy and pity, but it was something like a look fo reflection and consideration. “I’m glad that something so bad could bring me to something so good.”</p><p>Both boys smiled and sat in silence for a moment. “I’m glad you’re here too.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>